Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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New idea

Posted by Daisym on February 23, 2008, at 1:14:42

I think it is really hard to have a great session and then feel the good feelings slip away a little at a time. I can't seem to hang on to the connection for very long. Plus real contact with my dad last weekend left me rattled.
There is a younger part of me that is very scared and angry still. Her stories are the worst - I told one on Thursday and saw tears in my therapist's eyes. I said I felt bad for making him sad but he said it was OK for him to feel sad with me. He wanted to know if there was any way for him to be with me in these memories, like he was with me last week in the rocking chair. I struggled to think of a way - because silly as it sounds, I didn't want him there to "see" what happened. His idea is to empower me and take away the feeling of being utterly abandoned by everyone.

He asked me what I did to "escape" when I was so trapped as a little girl. I blushed and made him promise not to laugh -- and then told him that I used to imagine myself inside the books I was reading. I'd get into the story - like imagine myself in as a real character joining the ones I was reading about. I felt safe hidden in the book. He said he could be there - inside those pages - hiding but I would know he was with me. I teased him about feeling cramped and small - he said, "I love books - and I love rocking chairs. So far we are batting two for two." And then together we picked the book that he would "hide" in. So if I get disrupted or anxious over the weekend, I can really imagine where he is and feel him with me.

The really weird thing is that when I visualize this, I find that I've changed it from what we worked on. I'm now telling him the story of the book - we are both in the book - but I'm telling him the story so in my visualization we don't belong to the book - we are in it together. But it worked for the most part today. I managed to feel more safe and anchored than yesterday.

I'm trying to keep the part of my mind that is screaming, "this is stupid" quiet. I begin to feel silly - like, what the heck am I doing?

My therapist would say, "whatever works!"

 

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poster:Daisym thread:814217
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/814217.html