Posted by B2chica on February 13, 2008, at 13:30:54
In reply to Wierd ideas brewing...**possible SI trigger**, posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 9:15:20
Your post is not innappropriate and fits well here. many of us have felt similar.
i've been in a similar place dear one. i wanted to cut...nay shred my body at times. these are as you mentioned compulsions. it has to do with you SI but also with anxiety and OCD.
are you on any medication?
i noticed that sometimes my xanax (for anxiety) would help. other times it wouldn't even touch the severe anger and desire to destroy body parts. this is where i did need something stronger. i was on zyprexa and this fixed it 100%
i'm not saying you need it, but it was what worked for me.
Most importantly, when these "complusions" occur you need to have a plan in place ahead of time to make sure that you don't act on them.
the ones that i typically would do would be to:
-journal exactlyl what you wanted to do, use very descriptive language or write poetry;
-listen to music
-draw or paint can be anything many times i would draw what i wanted to do;
-paint on your body, over the area you want to injure;
-hold ice cubes in your hands as long as you can.
-call a friend, talk or have them come over. go outside- out in public.
most importantly have this in place before hand so you can look at this list and do what you need to do without having to remember things.
and remember you are NOT alone. but you do need to talk about what is going on inside. your erupting, and you need to talk about it before you hurt yourself too much. and don't forget to take care of the wounds you do have. go to the emergency room if you need to.
take care glamorama