Posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 9:15:20
First off I want to make sure that no one misinterprets my post here. I'm NOT suicidal. But I'm really worried and scared about this idea I have, and I don't know what to do. I am hoping that someone can advise me because I'm too confused to really understand what is going on.
*trigger warning, SI, graphic**
Basically, last night I got this idea, or compulsion, that I needed to cut open an area of my body where there was a lot of "fat". Sorry, this sounds probably really gross, but basically, I feel this compulsion to see the yellow fatty tissue. I keep visualizing it in my head, and am trying to figure out a way of cutting my skin open to see it, but I guess this could cause me to bleed profusely or something? Sorry if I sound stupid. I just feel like I have to do it, but I thought it might be a good idea to talk about it with some others to see if they had some advice. I feel like if I talk to anyone, they might commit me to the hospital or something. Sorry if this post was inappropriate in any way or posted to the wrong board. I wasn't sure where to post it.