Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 12:57:50
In reply to Re: No wonder we never talk about that, posted by raisinb on February 12, 2008, at 12:26:53
I think likely you're right about the topic of the argument not being what it's really about. Whatever it was really about had to be on his side, though. I was calm and reasonable throughout most of the session until I finally got irritated enough that I said what I said about therapy. He's normally so unflappable and calm that when he isn't I give him the benefit of the doubt. He was angry long before I was.
I do wonder if it had something to do with his long held perception that I often reject what he has to offer. I think it's an only partially correct perception. Yes, I do reject something as incomprehensible as the suggestion that I give the money to charity instead of offset it against my credit card balance. But while I argue with him over a lot of what he says, over time I've grown to incorporate a lot of his views in my way of thinking. And he knows this. So... Well, maybe I should try to validate his viewpoint before I disagree with it. It just doesn't feel like it's my place to do that though, you know? Still, he's human as well as a therapist. It wouldn't hurt.
"I can see where you might think that my type of self indulgence would be best treated by giving to those outside my immediate circle. And you may well have a point there. Maybe I can take baby steps to get there, by first being more giving to my family."
Or maybe he was just in a bad mood and looking for a fight, and I foolishly broke down and gave him one.
I really don't know since I'm just guessing what's in his mind. And unfortunately by next session he won't even remember that we argued, much less what was in his mind. :(