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Re: Need a Second Opinion (Big Trigger+ Long) Dinah

Posted by mair on February 8, 2008, at 8:08:49

In reply to Re: Need a Second Opinion (Big Trigger+ Long) mair, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2008, at 22:45:21

Dinah - I think sometimes you get me better than I get me.

I was pretty horrified that his death triggered some of my own suicidal thinking. I was so upset that he would hurt his wife and kids in this manner. I had the reaction to this event that any normal non-suicidal person would have. I didn't envy him that he was no longer in pain; I felt no particular sympathy for whatever drove him to this. And I truly bled for his wife. It was so easy for me to imagine all the many different awful ways that this will affect her life and their children's lives.

Given that, you'd think that one of my reactions would be that I'd never think about committing suicide again - that I'd never consider putting my family through that. So when the initial shock wore off and when I launched myself into suicide-obsession mode, it felt selfish and certainly inappropriate. Having my T tell me that she was actually not surprised at all with how much I was struggling was reassuring and helpful, if not illuminating.





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