Posted by Phoenix1 on January 17, 2008, at 9:01:46
Hello,
So I have had 2 sessions with a Psychologist specializing in CBT and IPT (Inter Personal Therapy). I'm not sure what to think. I'm not a good candidate for CBT apparently because I'm already very clear on what my irrational thinking is, and what healthy thoughts I should replace the irrational ones with. I just can't make the jump to make the healthy ones the automatic ones, and I have trouble stopping myself when the irrational side starts it's work. He thinks re-hashing this would be a waste of my time.
We haven't "clicked", is it too early to expect this?
He says I seem guarded, and like I'm trying to protect myself from something. He says he feels like it is more like an interview than therapy because I'm not opening up. I don't feel any hostility towards him but I don't trust him yet either. I don't trust people easily. I am answering his questions openly and honestly and trying to provide insight. I'm certainly not hiding anything. On the flip side of the coin, I'm not feeling much empathy from him. And I think that is what I respond to the most.
So I'm trying to be more open. Here's the weird thing. During both sessions, I was calm and collected, probably too much so. So I appear guarded because I don't show any emotion when discussing things that cause me pain. But after both sessions I went home and cried about things that had been brought up in therapy. For example, yesterday we talked about relationships, and how I have essentially no friends. Then, on the drive home I heard "the Only Living Boy in New York" on the radio and started crying. I feel so stupid about this. Because it's a song written by Simon to Garfunkel asking him to come back to New York. They were close friends, and Simon was hurt by Garfunkel when he left to pursue his movie career. Anyways, it made me very sad, lonely, longing for past friendships that have ended. Stupid thing to trigger it but anyways...
So on some level, the things we're talking about are getting to me. He doesn't see it because I appear so guarded.
So I guess I'm asking if I should know by now if he's going to be a good therapist fit for me by now? I can't afford too much, and he's not cheap. I'm not sure if we've accomplished anything productive, except that I leave feeling sad about issues we've discussed...
Sorry for the long long post, I'm just so confused right now.
Phoenix1
poster:Phoenix1
thread:807196
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/807196.html