Posted by sunnydays on January 16, 2008, at 21:43:04
In reply to Flat vs. Anxious, posted by DAisym on January 16, 2008, at 20:15:33
((((Daisy))))
My T says the anxiety I feel when thinking about and telling stuff about my abuse is because I am getting closer to the truth about me - that I am not exaggerating, not making it up, that I didn't do anything wrong, and that it really is as bad as I think it is. And that there is some part of me that is comfortable feeling the way I've always felt, comfortable feeling bad about myself and blaming myself. He says that part gets really scared when I start to deal with the truth because by getting closer to the truth and accepting what happened I am challenging the way I always felt and taking more power for myself. And that the little girl, who is comfortable blaming herself, is scared because it is such a huge change.
I don't know if any of that is true in your situation, but I think that I do know the anxious feeling you're talking about. It kind of makes me want to cling to my T so that he can take the feeling away (which he really can't).
I have been having a problem with the flat feeling too. I was questioning myself earlier today - "Maybe I'm addicted to drama, maybe this is how everyone feels all the time." But I think that if I have to ask that, it really is not how most people feel. And it distresses me feeling flat and disconnected.
But flat and anxious aren't the only two options. Your T is there for you, and you are safe. You two are working together to walk you through all the terrible horrible stuff and protect your specialness at the same time. And you won't always feel like flat or anxious or angry are the only options for feelings. The more it peels away, the more there will be room for happiness and just "normal" feeling too.
Hang in there,
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:807071
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/807088.html