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I am filled with rage. For no good reason.

Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2007, at 9:25:40

Friday's session was great. I'll add confessor/penitant to our list of roles. In talking to him I realized why I was so upset about something and he helped me feel so much better about it.

So maybe my expectations were a bit high. For work reasons it was more difficult than usual to manage to see him yesterday, so again maybe expectations were a bit high.

There was nothing wrong with the session. He was awake, adopted an attitude of receptive interest, and when he realized I was upset, did everything he could do ascertain and correct whatever lack of therapeutic attunement had caused my distress.

I really don't know anything that happened that would cause the very strong feelings I'm feeling. I suspect he forgot why I was so grateful to him for Friday, which is annoying but certainly not without precedent. We talked of silence in therapy, which perhaps made me a bit more aware of the silences. We didn't quite agree on the worth of silence.

He mentioned his surprise at the fact that I stayed with him through over a year of his not really being present after Katrina, saying he was surprised that anyone would put up with that for so long. For some reason that rankled, but certainly was not a cause for rage. Somehow we stumbled across the topic of his short term therapy techniques. I had assumed that they were the same as when I started seeing him, but he laughed and said that was a long time ago and he hoped he'd grown as a therapist since them. He says that a lot of his work centers on being a nonanxious presence (which I need to look up because it sounds like a phrase from a school of thought). He says that he sees his main role with me as being a nonanxious presence.

That was pretty much it. There was nothing to incite anger, much less make me wish to cancel next session and all future sessions and tell him I'll contact him if I feel any need for his services. He was all that was right and proper and warm and empathetic and professional.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:801571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801571.html