Posted by twinleaf on December 6, 2007, at 0:14:28
In reply to when my analyst begins talking..., posted by twinleaf on December 4, 2007, at 20:17:56
I just wanted to note that, although I go to an analyst, I'm not lying on the couch. He seems to think it might be a good thing for me to do, later, but I think I really do need to be able to look at him, at least for now.
RSK, I don't think we, or I, are in any way "further ahead" than you are. I know that I am not giving anything like a full or rounded picture of all the things I am struggling with, nor do I give a full picture of what my therapy is like. It is sometimes funny and wonderful- and I might post about that. Other times, it is terrifying, discouraging, confusing, painful. I almost never post about those times.
I think you were talking mostly about daring, or not daring, to allow your therapist to become important to you, and expressing how painful it would be to trust her and then be hurt or rejected. In therapy, even a tiny misattunement or misunderstanding can feel like a rejection. A lot of what I do (with coaching from him), is to give voice to my feelings of hurt, rejection, anger- no matter how tiny and unimportant they seem. He invariably tells me that he is glad I told him, and good interchanges usually follow.. It is such a good way to build trust, bit by bit, and it's something everyone can do- even people who are at the beginning in terms of trust and attachment. I do think it's so important to try to do that. I've read that, in treating trauma, trust-building and getting as close as you can to a secure attachment should happen before you try to deal with the traumas themselves.
Because I tend to record the good moments here, people probably don't think of what might be happening the moment before, or the moment after. Often, I'll retreat into a fearful frame of mind, and we will start all over to work towards comfort and safety. It's just what we do, all the time!
We aren't talking so much about the traumas right now; it's more about the relationship. I hope you won't be discouraged, but will give yourself full credit for what you've already done, and will look forward to the time when your therapy sessions become steadily less painful and more rewarding. That will happen.
poster:twinleaf
thread:798825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799042.html