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Re: I'm not feeling well..........(maybe trigger?) » obsidian

Posted by Dinah on November 23, 2007, at 12:30:38

In reply to I'm not feeling well..........(maybe trigger?), posted by obsidian on November 22, 2007, at 0:15:41

I'm sorry, Obsidian. I'm not up to date with what's going on in your life, and I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling.

My son once or twice has asked me a series of increasingly improbably questions about what would happen if he failed a test, failed a class, dropped out of school, and increasing in severity until the likelihood of the circumstance happening would depend on a takeover by the universe of Star Wars. My answer to him is that there is never anything so bad that life can't go on and be a good life. The very worst that can happen is that it won't be the life you currently plan. (Assuming that he simultaneously fails his entire college curriculum and fails to stop an alien invasion.) It might be the end of the world as he currently knows it, but it's not the end of *the* world.

At some level, this is hard for me to believe. I'm the person who was sure life would end if I got a B. But the evidence shows me wrong. Life does go on. And life still can be good. Even if the "worst" happens. Even if we fail to live up to our responsibilities. Even if we fail miserably at whatever we're currently doing. Even if it seems we can't take one step forward.

I think that in my case, I tend to focus too narrowly on what is directly in front of me, and fail to see everything in the periphery. I'm so focussed on passing *this* hurdle that I fail to see that if I trip myself up on it, there are a dozen other paths to my end goal. I focus on how I used to jump the hurdle easily, or how I know my jumping ability is such that I ought to be able to clear the hurdle so I must be bad if I don't.

Or at least that's what I tell my son.

 

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