Posted by Dory on October 11, 2007, at 19:49:32
In reply to Any BPD people, I need help, my sister *SI*trig, posted by cactus on October 11, 2007, at 18:39:46
i hate to say this... but from experience, it's true. You said you are recovering yourself, so you should understand this... living with an unwell person is like living with an active alcoholic or drug user. It makes little difference that she isn't using.. her behaviour is as damaging is it not?
you also know, sadly, that you cannot make her do anything. You should be proud of all you have done.
i won't tell you to just move out, but you already know what you need.
i had someone in my life get ill, and i drove myself into the ground being the caretaker... once i had some distance i was able to take better care of me, and that gave me strength to do what i could for the other person... which, frankly, was mostly supportive.
if she is BPD she would likely flip out at you for moving out... she'll react strongly. But, most BPD's will do a turn around pretty fast. There is a book called "i hate you, don't leave me" that you should read... and the title is apt. She directs her rage at you but is terrified of losing you... sound familiar?
but back to you... count for yourself the ways this is similar to a drug user's behaviour... why are you willing to accept this behaviour? because it's an illness? does that make it ok? does it hurt you less?
honey... i feel for your sister. It's got to be hard to have the world hurt so much. She's confused and angry no doubt.
But you can't just make it ok. You can't make her be well, or happy. i think you have done an incredible job so far.
you know all of this. you know you have to take care of you and that is what is hurting.
have you thought about getting a T for you? You might also want to look to see if there are any support groups in your area.. like NAMI.
poster:Dory
thread:788548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/788561.html