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Re: another bad termination » pegasus

Posted by gardenergirl on October 8, 2007, at 0:22:03

In reply to another bad termination, posted by pegasus on October 7, 2007, at 21:49:47


> A while back client revealed to T that client feels angry at T's spouse and young child, because they "stand in the way" of the two of them having a romantic relationship. T had a really strong negative reaction to this statement, and told the client that it was not ok to say that.

I'm not sure I can picture myself telling a client it's "not okay to say" something, but then again, it sounds like the T was setting or enforcing a boundary. At any rate, I do think that given the T's strong reaction and the client's focus and behavior, it's necessary to make sure boundaries are very clear.

As to the anger, I think I can relate to that somewhat. A T is trained and paid (ha! usually) to be "in the line of fire", so to speak. His or her family is not. And by saying they "stand in the way" of what the client wants, even if it's metaphorical, the client placed them "in the line of fire". I think I would find that unacceptable. And scary. Even if I didn't believe the client posed a significant risk, the "vision" of my family being more vulnerable would likely feel more threatening. And given the client's continued focus on her erotic feelings and fantasies, which is nothing wrong or shameful imo, the idea that the spouse and child represent "obstacles" whose elimination could be seen as positive by the client, might be a constant sense of threat, at least in the background. That's a huge thing to work through, and I think that a consultant might be warranted.

I guess I think that all T's have their personal "line in the sand", and it sounds like this client stumbled right into the T's. And I think that where the line is drawn will vary a great deal. In this case, if keeping his family "safe" to the extent he defines safety is his line, I think he has the right to enforce it. I think that things are going to be difficult for the client no matter which way it goes--staying with this T or transferring to another. And sadly, I suspect this relationship is unlikely to be repaired enough to facilitate the work it sounds like this client could benefit from.

So many things that maybe can be anticipated but can't be "disclosed in advance" away.... It's hard work on both ends.

What a tough scenario!

gg

 

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poster:gardenergirl thread:787720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787768.html