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Re: Oh Man I do dumb stuff sometimes!

Posted by red house on October 5, 2007, at 18:43:37

In reply to Re: Oh Man I do dumb stuff sometimes!, posted by happyflower on October 5, 2007, at 18:14:54

well, this touches on something i've been working through with my T. the idea that one would knowingly break a boundary, and would break the boundary in pursuit of a connection with your T.

what you did sounds completely reasonable to me; your T put the e-mail address out there. so if it's a boundary, it should be a different boundary that is far more flexible in this era of the internet.

i actively sought info on my T, all from public sources, and, even though i knew i was running the risk of crossing her personal boundaries and did in fact do so -- i discovered something she would not otherwise have told or have shared with me -- she was understanding, largely because it was public information. (although she didn't know that it was out there.)

so, we're working on how instead of indirectly seeking connection -- i.e., sending the email even if you didn't have "permission" or something -- needs to be transformed into direct requests. so i would hope that if you were able to say what you wrote, that you were needing connection, you can find a way to work on getting that need for connection met directly by your T, in response to being direct about your needs.

just a few thoughts based on my recent experience. but, most importantly, try to treat yourself kindly. it is certainly understandable that you were seeking connection and there's nothing wrong with that.

redhouse


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poster:red house thread:787040
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787123.html