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Re: CALL YOUR T NOW!!!

Posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 9:02:00

In reply to CALL YOUR T NOW!!! » B2chica, posted by antigua3 on October 3, 2007, at 19:08:55

Antigua3
you are very right...but i'm afraid i didn't get your message in time.
BUT...your words were EXACTLY what i/teen needed to hear. and i think had i read them in time they would have encouraged me to call. then

i got an email back from T saying that she really wanted to talk with me and gave me her cell #.
the thing is, she was in another building in our facility and could have easily looked up my work number and all i/teen could do was laugh at her and say "try and find me b@tch"....

i took my mp3 player and went for a (fast) walk outside...i knew if my boss saw me i would not be able to handle the situation and i could have been suspended. that helped a little, not much. so i found a friend here at work that knows kinda mostly what goes on with me (he know my dx of BP2) and knows my mood swings and TOTALLY understands my rage cuz he kinda has it too. ANYWAY, we both went out and smoked. this used to help...but that and talking to him did help a bit. went back to office and it started again, but i saw that T called my cell AND work phone.

so i grabbed my phone and went for another walk, when i chilled a bit, i was able to call T on her cell phone.
we talked for a while and it would subside, then build again.
then as i walked to the building and told her i was feeling better, little one came out and i started balling and i wanted to curl up but i fought SOOOO hard not too cuz i was by the parking lot for the building and people always coming and going. it's bad enough i was crying, then i'd be me, then her again....so quickly!

I AM SUCH A FREAK!!!
i just didn't understand....T was worried and asked if she needed to interviene...meaning hospital...and honeslty if i weren't so Freaking Broke and didn't have to deal with DH guilting me about how we CANT AFFORD THIS! i would have gone.

ANYWAY.
T knows that being with my IRL littlegirl always puts me in mamaB2 mode. so she said i needed to leave work and go get her.
Oh, and my friend that i smoked with gave me one of his clonipin (i'd taken them before so i knew i could take them) and told T but that i was worried about 1/2 life and since i'm still nursing. she looked it up and said its like 30 hours...but my xanax was like 12. so that's when she said "you need to leave work, go get little one, and take a xanax." this was around 12:30, She then said she'd call around 4:30 to check on me.

the only problem but it was ok, was that my old Rx was for 2mg and since it's been such a long time i thought i'd better take less, i took 1/2...but because i have the patients of a nat 20 min later i thought i'd better take the other `1/2.
luckily little one napped for almost 2 hours! so so did i!
just by then DH came home and 2 min later little one woke up. he took her and fed her.
very lucky.
feeling ok so far today.

SO i will post a bit more down below...as it's little different topic.

THank you alll so VERY much..

B2c.



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poster:B2chica thread:786669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/786818.html