Posted by Dory on September 27, 2007, at 7:21:24
In reply to sexual question- wrong forum i think -so sorry, posted by reese7194 on September 27, 2007, at 1:04:41
do you know what is weird? i don't recognize hardly *any* of the names of the posters who responded to you... it's kind of scary. We've had a lot of name changes lately... so i hope that is all it is. It freaks me out a little, make it seem like there is this huge influx of strangers.
anyway... sorry about the freaked out ramble... back to you.
my rule of thumb, and it seems i have a lot of thumbs, is that if you have serious inclinations toward seeing a therapist then you should. It doesn't mean anything did or didn't happen to you, ie abuse, but it does mean that something inside you wants to come out. It means part of you recognizes that this is a point in life at which you are ready to talk about things and maybe make changes in yourself. And... what would be the worst case outcome if you saw one? You'd be out a few bucks.
As far as the initimacy/sex goes... i am not a subscriber to the idea that we all must be sexual creatures without variation. Sometimes people just aren't sexual people. That is not the general case but there are always people at each end of a spectrum. One thing i want to point out is that if this idea feels "wrong" to you, if there is suddenly a feeling of "no" or not being heard... then you know your answer on that point... meaning you in fact are a sexual creature who is having trouble being sexual. When something is a problem for you, as indeed this sounds like it is, then the solution is to seek help... and a therapist may be able to do that.
i would, if you are capable, ask a T in the first session or two how experienced they are in dealing with issues surrounding sex... some T's specialize in it, some work with it but it's not their "thing."
it seems that there is a current in the world which leads to abuse... and what i mean is, that if you have been abused then it's ok to feel bad and seek help... and if you have not been, well, it's a little harder to feel justified and validated. If you have been abused then it's ok to seek help, but if you have not been abuse then it is *still* ok to seek help... see what i mean? Either way, if you are experiencing pain or trouble, it's OK to ask someone to help you. Maybe there has been abuse you have suppressed or blocked out... or maybe something other than abuse triggered some sort of internal sexual shame for you and that event is tied to a person or place. i hope that makes some sense.
In the people i have met along the way, i have discovered people for whom abuse did not result in functional issues, and i have met people for whom the seemingly most innocent offhand comment by a parent resulted in significant impact and later issues.
Thing is... you'll never know unless you try to find out.
It takes a lot of guts to post what you have and you already have some very clear ideas about your situation with regards to sexual issues. i hope you do decide to see a T... it sounds like you are at a crossroad.
poster:Dory
thread:785449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/785475.html