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Re: Weird -- transference and approval and abandonment Racer

Posted by RealMe on September 3, 2007, at 20:31:41

In reply to Weird -- transference and approval and abandonment, posted by Racer on September 3, 2007, at 14:50:34


> The best I can describe it is feeling kinda creeping and submissive, as though I have to win back her approval, her liking for me. And I feel very clingy, which is very frightening for me. There's a small part that says, "Better take a vacation from therapy until you get over it -- otherwise, she'll fire you." (Gee, I wonder where all this crapage comes from?) There's another part that says, "Oh, for heaven's sake -- get a grip!" But there's also the biggest part, just a maelstrom of emotions, screaming, "I need you! Where are you?" I certainly wasn't aware of that before, so I don't know how it was triggered, quite. That is, I don't know the mechanism...
>
I am sorry, but I had to laugh at the part of the post above. I am not laughing at you but at what you wrote as it is so familiar. I do the same thing. I feel like I need my therapist, and then I get pissed at myself and say get a grip. I would be royally pissed if my therapist forgot my appointment before going on vacation and might insist he make a special arrangement appointment before he left. That is not cool at all to miss an appointment. Talk about conjuring up rejection issues or feeling like your therapist really does not want to see you; that would be right out there on the table for me.

I still feel like there is something about me that my therapist did not want to see me for the entire session by being 4 or 5 minutes late. He doesn't do it now I don't think, but I haven't really checked either. If he starts doing it again, I will be devastated because he never did figure out what it was about for him other than maybe my stuff might be too much. But then he later said it would not be as he has worked with lots of csa abuse patients in the past. IDK. Wha

What reactions we have for therapists are rooted in the past and have to do with someone or someones who were intimately involved with us.

Take care

RealMe
Oz


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