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Re: Weird -- transference and approval and abandonment Racer

Posted by muffled on September 3, 2007, at 15:38:12

In reply to Weird -- transference and approval and abandonment, posted by Racer on September 3, 2007, at 14:50:34

> OK, so my T messed up right before her vacation, and "lost" my appointment. So, I had a rough time of it, mostly feeling as though I was the one at fault, and that it was terrible of me to be upset, that I should have been OK with it, etc. And it brought home to me that {ulp} I needed her.

**Ugh, remember 'need' IS a 4 letter word...
Man, if its any consolation, if my T had 'lost' my appt, ESP right B4 vacation....well, I'da been MEGA pissed, and have emotions following like yours, so you are SO NOT alone in no need to knock yours and my butt for having these feelings...Its funny, cuz my T tried to show me the disparity on how eg, its OK for Racer to have these feelings, but if its ME having the same response, then its NOT OK for me, soooooooo, guess if I can give you a break and understand, I should extend the same courtesy to myself....hmmmmm.

> We talked about it in my last session, and somehow it's worse now.

Ewwww, need, clingy, that'd feel real bad to me too.

> The best I can describe it is feeling kinda creeping and submissive, as though I have to win back her approval, her liking for me. And I feel very clingy, which is very frightening for me. There's a small part that says, "Better take a vacation from therapy until you get over it -- otherwise, she'll fire you." (Gee, I wonder where all this crapage comes from?) There's another part that says, "Oh, for heaven's sake -- get a grip!" But there's also the biggest part, just a maelstrom of emotions, screaming, "I need you! Where are you?" I certainly wasn't aware of that before, so I don't know how it was triggered, quite. That is, I don't know the mechanism...
> Has anyone else had anything like this come up? Been this discombobulated by something that happened?

*I get discombobulated by T LOTS cuz I've never ever let anyone near as close as I have let her, and it SCARES THE CRAP OUTTA ME. So I guess it makes things rather intense at times...
> And can someone please email me the bug-fix patch for this? As far as I know, I'm running Adult Female version American Baby Boomer 2.0.

ROFL, thank YOU for the laugh!!! I am apparently running the same program, and it sure does seem to have alot of bugs....and I dunno if the patches program just keeps getting slower and slower....
> Thanks.




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