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Re: Pseudo-neurotic Schizophrenia RealMe

Posted by Quintal on August 31, 2007, at 15:55:27

In reply to Re: Pseudo-neurotic Schizophrenia Quintal, posted by RealMe on August 30, 2007, at 22:26:33

Yeah, there are some pressure groups pushing for better mental health care. I think MIND is one of them, and there are others, but the standard of health care can be pretty poor in areas of heavy demand/low funding. Most people do get the care they need though, just not always in the most convenient time frame.

I think what happened to me was more a personal feud between me and this particular pdoc. I thought he was extremely Narcissistic and arrogant, and that this was influencing the decisions he made regarding my medication [he once tried to get me to take Zyprexa by telling me it was just a regular antidepressant like Prozac, and I got very angry and corrected him.... he discharged me from that particular unit to one closer to my home, but unfortunately two years later he later took up the vacancy left by one of the locum pdocs that was covering the post, and became my pdoc once again, much to our mutual delight].

Anyway, I wrote all this in my CBT journal, and next session my T asked if she could show him some of my comments (it ran into ~40 pages A4) because they worked in the same unit. At the time I agreed because I'd forgotten that I wrote anything about him, but of course he must have seen my comments. He told me he took my journal home to read at night. That creeped me out.

The next time I saw him, it was a review of my Parnate. I'd raised the dose because 20-30mg was making me feel suicidal, but I found doses above 40mg worked really well. When I first asked to try Parnate he asked me how much people were taking on the net, and I said 40mg+, and he said, well let's start at 30mg and go from there. I really didn't think he'd have a problem with me raising the dose to 40mg, considering it was making me feel suicidal and all, and I still don't think that was the problem. Anyway, he said 30mg was the most he was wiling to prescribe, even though I was doing well on a higher dose. I suggested Nardil as an alternative, but he claimed all MAOIs were more or less the same, then concluded the session with "well, there nothing more I can do for you Quintal, so I'm going to discharge you today".

So it's my interpretation that he was pissed off by the comments in my journal, and the discharge was 'revenge' for dissing him in front of a colleague. I should point out that I've not had this problem with other pdocs, there was just something about him. I really do think he had some sort of borderline/narcissistic thing going on, and that isn't just my perception either. My Schizophrenic friend had a disagreement over medication during her pregnancy - she didn't want to take any. So he responded by cutting off her supply and discharging her. I think he's a nasty piece of work, putting it politely, and I really don't want to go back under the 'care' of a man like that. I think it would make me ill.





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