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Re: Pseudo-neurotic Schizophrenia RealMe

Posted by Quintal on August 27, 2007, at 23:36:54

In reply to Re: Pseudo-neurotic Schizophrenia Quintal, posted by RealMe on August 27, 2007, at 22:16:18

I wasn't asking a question as such, just wanted to open it up for discussion. I didn't know about your past diagnosis, and it's very encouraging to hear that people make a recovery from these things. You were not one of the people I 'had down' as having a PD, and I'm usually pretty sensitive about things like that, so I suppose that shows how much progress you've made.

Yeah, I agree about the bipolar fad thing, and Lamictal did work for me, although that article says that bipolar meds don't typically work for people with BPD. The problem is that my diagnosis seemed to be more of an accusation than a diagnosis as such, almost as though they said there - we've outed you as having a personality disorder, and people like you don't deserve to have treatment. Well that's how I interpreted anyway, considering that the personality disorder thing made its debut in my discharge letter. My GP has treated me like dirt ever since. I had a stomach ulcer recently and..... good God I wish I could have taken a video camera with me to show you the viscousness of the woman. Lets just say it was clear she thought there was nothing wrong with me, and as I was trying to describe my symptoms she would nod her head sardonically and shoot me one of her nasty smiles from time to time. I got the medication I needed, but I found the whole thing harrowing and it left me quite shaken.

Needless to say, I feel uncomfortable about going back to ask for psych meds. Another borderline told me Parnate was one of the few meds that had shown good efficacy in BPD, and I responded well to it. I still have some in my cupboard and I was thinking about going back on it. My stomach ulcer also seems to be coming back so I was thinking about killing two birds with one stone and mentioning them both in the same appointment, but I can guess how it will be interpreted "Oh, he just invented the whole ulcer thing to come here and get more meds" or something like that. This just isn't good because I find that sort of behavior very 'triggering' rage-wise.

So... I was thinking of meeting it head on and bringing along some studies that show Parnate's efficacy in BPD. I wonder if that would work? I was wondering about Nardil because of the anxiety component, and there are some interesting studies of Nardil in BPD, but most of them show that while it helps anxiety and irritability, it exacerbates emotional dysregulation and reactivity. That would be in acordance with my experiences with benzos and a few other GABAergic drugs, so I think I'll steer clear of that. I'm wondering whether to take Parnate for a week to see if I can tolerate it without a benzo sleep-aid, otherwise it will just be another bad mark in my notes if I were to go back asking for that type of drug. She's not going to give a sleep aid so if I can't tolerate it there's no point in raising the issue with her because I can't tolerate the alternatives such as Seroquel etc.

There are no good therapists in my area, and I once waited two years to get an appointment for CBT. I was rejected at the assessment stage for being too unstable, and well... I was sorta hoping therapy would help with that, you know? So that's a no-no too. I'm on my own. I've read that many borderlines can't use therapy effectively anyway, and that self-study is the best option. I have "The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders" and "Surviving a Borderline Parent". I find the first one quite helpful, but irritating. It makes me angry for some reason. I liked 'Surviving a Borderline Parent' one better though. Do you know of any good material on BPD?





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