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not ready to talk about a dream RealMe

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 27, 2007, at 9:06:07

In reply to Re: Another one of those 'therapist out of town po LlurpsieNoodle, posted by RealMe on August 27, 2007, at 8:25:00

Hi RealMe,
I am DEFINITEly not ready to talk about a dream with my T. It wasn't anything particularly spectacular. If anything it reflected a greater trust in him on my part.

I can't even talk about it in an online support forum. I haven't talked about much at all in the way of "trust" other than it's hard for me and then a big review of why it's hard for me and a nice long dissociation episode. barf.

I have a really hard time talking about the T-me relationship. My former T, who I had a deep trusting relationship acknowledged as much. Interestingly, about 3 mos into therapy I had this dream that she was embracing me through a silk/satin sheet, after a traumatic episode in which she was there as my advocate. I had the courage to tell her, but then when she brought it up again I would shy away from it. At termination she said that she knew how hard it was to talk about this kind of relationship face to face with someone, and said that it was something I could work on with my next T.

First comes feeling safe
Then comes trust in baby steps via sharing difficult stuff and seeing how he reacts
Then comes the work of reprocessing the old ick
All interspersed with the struggles of day-to-day living. I've got a few of those right now, in the form of existential angst.

...hmmm... Thanks for your support. You're a gem. Sorry that I'm not ready to support folks like you. I shy away from triggers right now in self-protection. Hope you understand. Your past is not your fault, ergo the fact that your past triggers me is NOT YOUR FAULT. just so we have that clear...

take care RealMe :)

-Ll

-Ll


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