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Re: Connecting the unconscious dots - long » DAisym

Posted by gardenergirl on August 10, 2007, at 16:05:53

In reply to Connecting the unconscious dots - long, posted by DAisym on August 9, 2007, at 2:21:40

> I knew I was sitting on those feelings of "this was a big deal happening to you and I didn't know it, since I'm just a client" but I managed to sort of swallow all of that and we had an OK session.

I would have that same feeling, especially about something that was a "visible" change. Like if my T had surgery and didn't tell me that's why he was off, and then showed up with an obvious sign of it.

> I made myself tell my therapist how I felt after the session the next day. This is new for me because I don't usually say anything until I have it all figured out. He wants me to try and think things through with him, during sessions and not be on my own with all it.

I'm sure that was really scary. Good for you for giving it a shot.


> Today we looked at it all together. A very young part of me is terrified (hence the impending sense of doom) that since my therapist got his PhD everything will change and he will leave me. This is not based in any reality and I am just shocked at how the dots connect. I told him I feel a little foolish, like this is a stretch to explain my feelings the past week. He said it makes perfect sense to him, especially given my reaction last night.

I agree, it makes perfect sense. It's hard, though, when there's something really powerful and also "irrational" to the adult mind. When you can look at it and say, "But that would never happen," or "this is different," it feels like you "should" feel okay about it. But there's that other way of looking at it, the child mind, that matters too. These days, I spend a lot of time prefacing whatever feeling I'm having with, "but I know that ..., etc." explaining the rational, as if I need to show him that I "know better." Ugh, did I just write that? I guess to show him that I ALSO know the adult context.


> So - I'm sorry I haven't been around much, I've been kind of a mess. And I'm sorry this got to be so long. (not that this is new for me.) Anyone else have one of those "ah ha!" kinds of moments - and how do you make conscious those unconscious pockets of crud?

I've had aha moments, and they come with such a strong feeling of "rightness", even if it does feel like a stretch. Sometimes it takes repetition for me to really "get" the connection. But with that therapy spiral, they always come back for another chance. :)

I think that in time, we get better at looking at something to gently probe to see if there are some dots to connect. Why am I reacting this way? It doesn't make sense, or it seems too intense. Then we start thinking and looking at it, and we get to where we can start connecting the dots easier. I guess we just get more familiar with the crud--a first name basis, so to speak, so we get better at working with it? There are always going to be things that stay hidden, though. I don't think it's possible to know everything in our unconscious. But that's just me. No scientific or theoretical evidence to back that up. :)

Daisy, over time you've connected more and more dots. It shows in your posts here. I hope that you are finding that therapeutic.

Maybe we can color pictures of our dots. Haven't done a good dot-to-dot picture in ages. ;)

Take care,

gg
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