Posted by OzLand on July 29, 2007, at 9:20:23
My analyst (MD) sent me a curt response or at least I am interpreting it that way. I thought that when he said if anything happened with my job I should call him immediately that he said this because he would put me in the hospital as I had said I might kill myself like another psychologist I know. A nationally known psychologist who got accused of something that no one will ever know now if he did it or not, recently killed himself. I knew him and had taken workshops from him. My doctor wrote back a very brief response, something like, I would just want to help and offer support. He said about the Parnate to do as I was told. No other comments,. Of course I thought he might be angry with me, and I said I was sorry and would not bother him again. I guess I know what will be on the agenda on Wednesday. Anyway, so I don't know if it is okay to go cold turkey. People are saying no. I think when I was younger I went cold turkey off of the Parnate so I could have surgery. I was at Menninger's then and was taking other meds. So, I don't know.
I took my prescribed dose of 40 mg. Friday morning when I met with the person who said to get off the psychiatric meds. I took 30 mg. on Saturday, and today I took 20 mg. Tomorrow a.m. I will take 10 mg. and then nothing on Tuesday. I am going off the Neurontin too even though I used it for pain. It will be interesting if nothing else to see the effect. I am scared about the depression. But I could sure do without the dry mouth. I will still have that do some extent as I use Advair twice per day and another inhaler once per day.
I am wondering if when all this is settled at work, can I stay off the antidepressant. I have a hard time dealing with the csa which I know we need to get back too, but right now it isn't bothering me--too much what seems like life and death issues right now, and csa has taken a back seat again. I feel so anxious all the time now about the work thing.
Irony of it all is that my husband talked about going back to Topeka, Kansas recntly. Sure is cheaper there in the burbs of Chicago, but Menninger's isn't there anymore. I couldn't get a job there again unless I went to Houston. UGH. No way. But, there are tons of Menninger people who stayed behind in Topeka and started their own group practice. Also, some are in Lawrence, KS some 20 miles away, and some are in Kansas City, some 55 miles away. So, lots of my colleagues around there plus my UU congregation which was 1000 time better than the one here where I am in the Chicago area. Hate the county I live in and would prefer to be in Chicago if I stay in IL and am applying for positions in the City. We shall see; plus my analyst said he can help me find something if I would like; maybe I will take him up on it; he is known quite well in the Chicago area and has lots of contacts in the city; he was until recently a supervising and training analyst at the Institute in Chicago. Now he has his own corporation or whatever you would call it in Evanston and called Yellowbrick. It is a comprehensive program with residential piece as well for young people 18-30 who he refers to as "emerging adults." He even talks about specialties being eating disorders (used to be me), trauma and abuse (is still me), and bipolar disorders (not me).
I am feeling better today, but unfortunately that could change by tomorrow. I thank everyone for their support, and as I can, I will be supportive too.
OzLand
poster:OzLand
thread:772684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/772684.html