Posted by OzLand on July 20, 2007, at 22:20:53
In reply to how to tell *triggering csa**, posted by frida on July 20, 2007, at 21:57:13
I can only say that I was like you for a very long time with other therapists. With the one I have now, I have only seen him since the beginning of May, but I can tell he knows what he is doing and that I can trust him. I kept resisting too, and then I went one day and told myself, "I will do it." I just went back to what I had already said to him like talking about the news or something matter-of-factly, and I was looking at the floor as it made it easier, and I just tried to think about what I was feeling back then when things started. I felt almost as if I was turning into a little girl again, but I was able to maintain my self as an adult to some extent. Anyway, I just made the decison to do it when I got there. No thinking about it ahead of time; no thinking about how to do it; I just went in and said to my T, "okay; I'm going to try and go back to when things started." Then, I just did it, and he was so gentle and kind about it.
Like you, I spent so much time alone talking to him and crying and yet, that was not very satisfying as I was really just talking to myself, and if I knew what to do about myself, well of course I would have already. Maybe other people have ideas, but that is what I did, and I am going to be scared all over again next time and the next and the next. I doubt it gets easier for a time. Maybe later, I hope.
Ozland
poster:OzLand
thread:770820
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770827.html