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Re: what pdoc and T had to say **triggers** » LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by scratchpad on July 20, 2007, at 15:39:12

In reply to what pdoc and T had to say **triggers**, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 20, 2007, at 14:22:02

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. From what I can gather, 8-week intervals are "normal" (ha ha) for pdoc appointments, though I found with my last pdoc that it also meant that his office was NOT well set up for a crisis. So, you might want to call your pdoc's office and just ask, what do I do if I need to get in quickly - can they accommodate you? This would help to settle your mind on that matter, at least.

As for a diagnosis of bipolar, I am of several minds on that. (Just try to stop my puns, it ain't gonna happen today.) "An Unquiet Mind" was the first book I ever read on a mental illness after being dx'd. I remember turning the pages and thinking, "there I am again!" over and over and actually feeling reassured. That what I'd been going through had a name.
Well, I'm over that now.
I've met other people on the bipolar spectrum and now think that my dx is important maybe for the insurance company, but it isn't really for me. My medications have changed so much since being pronounced "mildly bipolar II", and at the moment I'm not on a mood stabilizer even, that I just have to shake my head and go for what works for me medication-wise rather than what the label says the medication is for, you know?
Also, if it's the lifetime-label of bipolar that's distressing you, would you feel differently if you thought of it as chronic illness? When my T and I talked about this - the sickness label - I found that when it came down to it, I wasn't concerned as much about what my illness was called so much as knowing that I'll be getting treated for it probably for the rest of my life. That it was a chronic illness that wasn't my fault, even though at its worst, it tells me that it is my fault. (Illness is such a liar.)

You have probably heard this from others, but please, please, don't be too hard on yourself right now. Freshly moved, fresh out of school, fresh in a new neighbourhood and out of your element; there is a lot to shake you up right now. I know its sounds like your doctor wants to zonk you out on your medications at the moment, but give them time to work. I'm freshly zonked myself.

take good care,
Scratchpad

Your reading corner with its rug sounds lovely.


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