Posted by antigua3 on July 13, 2007, at 10:43:57
In reply to Re: Tormented my Pdoc might terminate me (long **c, posted by Honore on July 13, 2007, at 8:04:14
> It could be that you've chosen the wrong men to confide in-- possible from becoming desperate at a moment, and turning to someone who's there-- who may be cold or emotionally limited in response.
That's my whole point. I think I've picked men who are the right type and I'm always wrong.
> Sounds like your prior therapist and this pdoc both were somehow remote and formal people-- who preferred impersonal and cut-and-dried types of tasks-- rather than emotionally intense and open-ended ones.
Gee, sounds a little like my father. Interesting, thank you. But I just don't think an emotionally intense male T would be particularly helpful. I don't think that' what I need from a male T.
> You then could have a referral from your own T, to someone who's capable of responding. She would be able to give you someone who, in her judgment, could respond adequate or helpfully. It isn't everyone who can-- male or female.
Up until this point, my T has approved of my pdoc and recognized how helpful he has been to me in ways that are different from her. So something about ME has to change in my dealings with these people, because I sound like a broken record, but it's a pattern.
> It's not at all your fault-- it's just him, in his individual unique strengths and limitations. I dont think he means to hurt you, may he just is having a hard time coping.
That's probably true, but it's extremely hurtful that we've built up this relationship, and for it to break over this would be an easy way out for him and reinforce my feelings of unworthiness. The hard truth is that it reinforces the idea that I should not tell a man, EVER. And that I have to learn to deal with this and accept that, because I'm doing a lousy job of trying (as I've said, this is not an isolated incident; it happened with the last male T I trusted, and I could provide countless other examples)
To a certain extent, of course it's about their faults and the type of man I choose to tell, but time and time again it comes back to me, and I have to find a way to deal with it. That "magic" doctor isn't just going to show up.
Thanks for listening,