Posted by antigua3 on July 12, 2007, at 12:09:35
In reply to Re: Tormented my Pdoc might terminate me (long **c » antigua3, posted by B2chica on July 12, 2007, at 11:53:36
Thank you for your kind words. Part of what you said is what makes this so hard. These were natural reactions on the part of a young girl who was sexualized at an inappropriately young age. You'd think my pdoc would get that; he works primarily with children.
You didn't upset me, and I know you mean well, but it's hard to shake the true disgust and hopelessness that I feel. My old pdoc told me that people with trauma are drawn to re-enactments of the trauma--not on purpose, but subconsciously--in an effort to get a different outcome. I know that I've done that with just regular men, but I thought a psychiatrist wouldn't repeat the pattern. It's just devastating.
Thanks again, you're a sweetie. And I'm not pretty by the way, my self-esteem is in the mud right now and I'm just trying to remember that at least I'm a good mother, with three great kids, even though my pdoc and I would never agree on my parenting style.
I'm just so sad, but preparing myself. I just don't want to be caught off guard.