Posted by 10derHeart on July 3, 2007, at 14:37:13
In reply to Re: I hate being angry with my T :-(, posted by canadagirl on June 30, 2007, at 21:22:35
> I know, it's hard. Maybe it was a "real emergency" type of thing, you know, with kids sometimes, they have their own emotional crises or whatever.
well, perhaps. But it's his youngest son who lives at home....about 20, or 21 years old. There have been recent problems between dad and son, not that we talk about that, but he sort of revealed that in general once as a reason he couldn't reschedule a session, so I'd understand it wasn't about another client, or his convenience, but was about an important, family matter.. Not the first time he's hinted at sort of a 'butting heads' with this boy, and usually each time he's suddenly driving a borrowed car and the son has his car.....as a parent myself, it all sounds painful.
I can always think of at least two ways he could make the phone interruptions less difficult and intrusive. He's sort of paid attention (leaves the room and closes door now) but when it was *more* than once, and then during our handshake, well, that was too much for me.. I guess I can't imagine any emergency that can't wait say, 30-60 seconds. That's all I ask. And besides the word 'emergency' was never used at all....
>It doesn't make it any easier, but don't assume it's anything you've done.
I don't, except that I swing wildly back and forth thinking I'm reasonable, then unreasonable, in the intensity of my reaction to this (I'll post something from my T. a little later showing *how* intense it appears to him). First, I feel like a needy, rude, selfish b**ch who can't allow him to, once in a while, need to put his son before me, just for a minute or two. Then, the next moment, I decide, no, he's not getting this, we've had the 'therapy is sacred' talk - more than once - and he's just not respecting how precious this one hour is to me. Don't know which voice is more true.
>I'm really sensitive too and if my T ever took a phone call in the session I think I'd fall over.
Yeah, only twice has my T. done that exactly - without stepping out of the room - in 2.5 years. First time, we had a very tearful and serious talk about how sacred it is to me, and I don't EVER want to hear his son's voice, or what he's saying to his son, makes me feel sooooo creeped out. So, he reformed for about a year, then took one from some potential client - once. That time, I did say it was okay as I was just giving him a check and leaving, but I realized as I awkwardly stood there and the guy wouldn't let him off the phone quickly, it wasn't ok. My T. talks in a different voice to other people, and I don't want to hear it. Scares me 'cause it's not the "him" I know.
Thanks, cg, always lovely to hear from you :-)
poster:10derHeart
thread:766930
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/767404.html