Posted by DAisym on June 20, 2007, at 10:30:18
In reply to Re: It came up of course » DAisym, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2007, at 7:52:45
It is so hard to see solutions when the world feels like it crashed and landed on you.
I believe there must be more than one MD around -- go get another opinion. Lots of things can make you sleepy, including stress! (which you've been under for a long, long time.) Just like with blood sugars, sometimes doing the opposite thing helps - so perhaps try sleeping an hour less? And exercise. Sorry - it is true. One thought I had was about getting a cardiac workup.
After all this time, why don't you take a leave of absence? That way you aren't really quitting, you are taking a break. See how it goes...I would bet dollars to donuts right now you could get a disability leave - so you could still afford therapy. Think about it...
And as far as your son goes, the bad news is that if you've done your job as a good mom, they will go through this stuff in order to separate from you. And of course he is unhappy, he has to leave the secure place under your wing and venture into the exciting, but scary world. He is torn, and probably anxious. Anger is the outward expression of all of this. And everything is huge and the end of the world. This is where you keep telling yourself that without a safe base, he wouldn't be able to push and pull on you. He knows that you love him and will be there for him, so he can venture out and then come back. Teens are just 2-year olds with bigger vocabularies.
As I write all of this, I totally get the "I give up" feelings. Too much, for too long. And it feels never ending, no matter what everyone says. You are tired, bone-tired...and the siren call of suicide offers relief from the constant managing of your life. I know this place really well. But hang on, it does pass. Try to think about your son having to navigate this phase without you - could your husband handle an angry teen who is now at risk of suicide himself? I think that is what has stopped me when things are darkest. Teens who lose their parents this way are at much higher risk themselves. And I don't want that for my guys -- and I know you don't either.
It would be better to quit than die. Please try to remember than.
((((Dinah))))
poster:DAisym
thread:764138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/764413.html