Posted by pegasus on April 18, 2007, at 10:11:02
In reply to Re: Working through the anger, posted by antigua on April 18, 2007, at 9:52:53
Yeah, this is really interesting, isn't it? I've been trying to figure out the same thing. There's this conventional wisdom that if you express the anger, it'll resolve. But then my experience isn't always that that's true. Sometimes it seems like expressing it leads to more expressing (and sometimes to damaged relationships, like Declan mentioned). It's like practicing being angry, maybe.
But then, if expressing the anger isn't helpful, what is? My T says that going into the anger is how you deal with it in a healthy way. This is different than yelling at people or hitting things. I think the idea is that if you let yourself feel the anger, then you can get a better handle on it than if you try to avoid it. Apparently avoiding it makes it grow or get uglier.
Fortunately, the instruction I was given was to sit there and feel the anger with your heart open to it, but it only takes moments for it to turn into something else (maybe hurt or fear, and then you sit with that for a few moments too). I've yet to try this, but I thought I'd pass it along. I'd like to hear if anyone has experience with this approach.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:750222
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/750990.html