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Re: It's not that I'm ready to terminate » Dinah

Posted by All Done on April 1, 2007, at 20:34:18

In reply to It's not that I'm ready to terminate, posted by Dinah on April 1, 2007, at 10:20:44

> But my mind drifts there all the time. I even know what termination gift I would give him.
>
> Apart from the good reason I have for not terminating, I think I have some bad ones too. Fear of change. Fear of making him angry.

I'm assuming you've talked with your T about your fear of change since I know you've talked about it here, but the fear of making him angry is interesting to me. Have you ever told him that?

I talk about termination a lot. Well, at least more than I talk about some other things. Sometimes I bring it up and sometimes my T picks up on something I said and relates it back to what he calls a termination fantasy. (Nothing good about this fantasy, of course ;). ) It seems there's a lot to talk about within the subject of termination. Now, mind you, I always make it very clear that I'm not ready to terminate (unless it's one of the odd times I'm feeling like I might be). He accepts that and always reassures me that he thinks we have more work to do or that he believes termination should happen when we both agree it's time (I'm so afraid of him kicking me out or something).

Anyway...long story short, I think it can be healthy and beneficial to talk about termination at any time - not just when you absolutely know you're ready. I'm of the opinion that I'll need some help from my T to know when it's time, so how can I not talk to him about it? And it sure does make for some interesting sessions for me. It definitely brings up some strong feelings and reactions in me and even in my T sometimes.

Okay...to make a long story even longer, you talk about being comfortable and it sounds like you might want to mix things up a bit. This is an easy way to do that. The topic is anything but comfortable for me. ;) My standard advice - talk to your T about it. Just think of it as an exploration, not as you telling him you're ready to terminate.

((((Dinah))))

Laurie


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