Posted by gazo on March 27, 2007, at 20:20:17
i don't know where to start. i am devastated. i go from sobbing to numb. i am calling my pdoc in the morning as i don't know if i can stay safe. i will be ok tonight.. i am too screwed up to plan anything out. i am too drained to act on anything.
i am in so much pain.
i saw my old T tonight for the last time tonight. he said some things which hurt like i can't describe. it's not his fault, it's mine. i wanted to end things thinking he really liked me somehow.
i will never see him again. i am thinking about the things i said that i shouldn't have and the things i didn't say.
i am a monster inside. when you see me posting don't fall for it. i am a monster. no one wants a monster.
it's all my fault.
i don't want to live like this.