Posted by pegasus on February 20, 2007, at 9:18:23
In reply to What should this T do?, posted by pegasus on February 15, 2007, at 21:17:24
So, here's what she decided to do, and why:
First, she remembered her past therapy, where she was very attracted to her therapist. That therapist never told her whether he was attracted to her (she never asked - but she was pretty forthcoming about being attracted to him), which she sees as a good choice on his part. If he had told her that he was attracted to her, then she would have been wildly distracted her from her therapy goals. If he had told her that he was not, she would have been devastated.
This particular client sees his life as full of rejection. Because of that, and her own previous experience, she decided that it would not be helpful to him to tell him that she was not attracted to him.
Instead, they talked about how regardless of how she felt about him and he about her, it would not ever be an option to have a personal relationship, because of their therapeutic relationship. (He also knows that she is married, by the way.) Then they talked about what his fantasies were, and what motivated him to ask her how she felt about him, and how those fantasies and motivations play into the way he views himself, his life, etc.
I shared with her parts of your responses. She especially appreciated Daisy's comments about adjusting the response to the type of client. She appreciated annierose's comment about not being ambiguous. And she was moved by the strength of scentedgarden's feelings for her T (and vice versa), and how they've been helpful. All in all, I think she decided to back off on the discussion of transference in this situation (due to your comments), and try to be more authentically present for this client, even while not giving him a direct answer to his question.
Thanks much everyone. I'll pass along any additional comments you might have.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:733176
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/734416.html