Posted by Daisym on February 16, 2007, at 20:40:31
In reply to Re: What should this T do? » Daisym, posted by pegasus on February 16, 2007, at 9:39:00
I think it is an interesting choice of words - "if she develops feelings for him" -- well, of course she has feelings for him! Good, bad or indifferent, they are feelings. I said this in another thread, but when a client is angry with the therapist, the therapist doesn't immediately back up and say, "ut-oh, do I feel angry with the client too? I better transfer them!" No, training tells us to ask about the anger and try to see if it belongs to the present moment or if it is old. Usually it is both. And we use the anger to get to the issues. Can't we do the same with love? I keep wondering why we (all) find love sooo scary. Is the potential for hurt that much greater? I guess it could be.
I think acknowledging that therapy *is* a set up for those kinds of feelings to surface is helpful. I'm glad my therapist "warned" me that all kinds of feelings were going to pass between us in our work. I didn't believe him at the time...
I guess I'm really glad you set her straight about transfering a client. That would be pretty awful after such an honest declaration. I wonder, if the therapist has feelings for a client who never admits feeling for the therapist, do the same rules apply? It probably helps that your friend has had the experience of working through such feelings. She can be confident that good therapy can still take place in the midst of emotional turmoil. After all, isn't that what this is about?
poster:Daisym
thread:733176
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/733405.html