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Re: Jealousy, Seperateness, NewYrs, Now -long***Tr » annierose

Posted by ElaineM on January 11, 2007, at 22:33:19

In reply to Re: Jealousy, Seperateness, NewYrs, Now -long***TrigSH, posted by annierose on January 11, 2007, at 17:40:47

>>>>>>He is not a therapist, as long as you know that. You are not doing therapy together.

I know he's not a therapist to me anymore. And he kinda knows that to. But he thinks he is *more* than a therapist now, not less than -- and that it's good. I'm pretty sure I know that we're not doing therapy anymore. It's just confusing cause he says that what he does and suggests IS best for me, or will be in the long run. Being in the hospital so much (especially while trying to defend your opinions and perspectives while having AN) you learn that everything malicious you think of doctors, pdoc and T's is only a symptom of your sickness. I can't even get the dentist to take my word as fact (and I pay him thousands of dollars a year!). Plus, I did trust T for well over a year, when he was still normal and silent. It's hard.

>>>>Right now, he is playing with your mind.

I appreciate your anger - I do - I know it comes from a good place. But I fear that I see a side of him no one else can. That if you could hear his voice, and see his eyes when he speaks...if you saw him tear up, you may too doubt whether he's so predatorial. Sometimes I do question his motives (when he suggests bad things, or makes me upset when I won't let him know everything about me) but then he does a 180. And amidst all his bad behaviour, he also seems to genuinely care -- which sounds impossible, but that's what it's like.

Thanks for caring. I always think I make you all hate me -- when I can't do what you all say. That that weakness in me repels you guys. It's good to hear from you. I hope I can give you all a positive update one day.
blove, EL


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poster:ElaineM thread:721410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/721531.html