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Re: does anyone else cut? - Trigger » youngaddict

Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 6, 2007, at 19:57:33

In reply to Re: does anyone else cut? - Trigger, posted by youngaddict on January 6, 2007, at 11:14:42

nah,
its not just a teenage thing.
i think a lot of us have hard times putting things into words.

my t has been pretty good about helping me understand my own self injury triggers. sometimes its just a habit, triggered by a situation. (like being in a combative phone call will make me) and sometimes its a cry for attention, but damned if Ill let anyone see it. yes. the scars are kind of cool when you feel bad. but when you feel good, then the scars are an unpleasant reminder that you own your past and your body. sometimes the injuries are just a way to find a way through the numb cloud that i create when I dissociate due to general anxiety. or a way to pass the time. so many reasons. so many things to discuss.

you will give your therapist a real chance to understand you better if you tell about the times when you do this. the feelings you have (or dont have?) before, during, after. you may learn something about yourself too. its a coping mechanism for many.

for me, its not a mechanism that i can sustain forever. i have made pledges on pbabble not to do my thing. and since making those pledges and having a few good days or weeks or whatever, I find myself back in the thick of it. and so i feel disgusted at myself for doing it, and WORSE! that i cannot confess my sins, because i have so often declared myself better. well. i lied. cr*ppers.

there are alternatives. ice cubes. rubber band snaps. dental flossing. wearing gloves. getting better. benzodiazepines help me sometimes. the best way for me to stop is for me to go to bed.

so, in the spirit of following my own lame and unsolicited advice, good night to you all. still in the wrong freaking time zone. ! I wanna go home now. vacation should be OVER!

a bientot,
Ll


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/719974.html