Posted by muffled on December 31, 2006, at 7:19:12
In reply to Re: transference? i think so...., posted by youngaddict on December 30, 2006, at 23:49:45
> i am glad to know i am not alone. i told my one close friend that i had mapquested my therapists address and she was like, thats f-ed up. umm thanks. i know that. haha.
* think its hard for those who have not had a good T relationship to understand how intense it can be. And hard :(
>
> this is so hard fo rme to talk about but i like the annonymity of the internet...**yes the relative anonymity is good. But be a little careful....
It is good here at this website, in that for the most part, you will get understanding and support.
>
> i find myself wanting to hurt myself to get her attention but then i can't tell her that i have hurt myself--like cutting, etc... its like i want her to notice and be like, omg why r u doing that? and then when she doesn't i hurt myself even more. i finally told my shrink i cut myself who told my therapist and my therapist brought it up once and i said i didn't want to talk about it and then she never brought it up again. ugh. i am so starved for love. i can see that. but it doesn't change the way i see things. or feel things. i actout these ridiculous fantasies in my head involving her saving me somehow and telling her she cares foe me.**Therapy is HARD work sometimes. Very very hard. But if you have established some level of trust with your T, then this kinda stuff is exactly what you should be talking about in session....
You could always take this very post in if you can't find the words to say it at the time. Again, I don't find your behaviors strange, not even slightly.(been there, done that). So if your T is even slightly good, then I think she will handle this well.
There have been threads not so long ago, bout diff. T's reactions to cutting....none of them were horrible, but some seem more willing to talk about it than others.
Cutting is a coping mechanism. Not a very lifegiving one, but useful. Your T should be able to eventually help you to find other, less harmful ways to cope.
Sorry this got long and preachy.
You just kinda remind me of me.
And as for googling your T etc, I think mebbe you should try to respect your T's privacy.....
Its not unususal for clients to do this, but I don't think its good to invade T's privacy.
I think as you talk more with your T bout ypour feelings, and as she reassures you, that things will get better for you.
Take care,
Muffled(I too cut, but less so...finally)
poster:muffled
thread:717720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/717752.html