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Re: PLEASE Read This And Help Me... Please.

Posted by madeline on December 29, 2006, at 11:01:55

In reply to PLEASE Read This And Help Me... Please., posted by JeffSmith on December 29, 2006, at 3:15:17

Welcome to babble jeff. I'm glad you came here, it certainly has helped me a lot.

I read your story from start to finish and have the following things to say.

(1) I see a lot of reason for hope in your story, as other posters have indicated, look what you have accomplished so far and look at what you had to fight to get there. Your comittment to exercise also tells me that you care enough about yourself to be healthy. There is a very very strong person in there who can beat this yet.

(2) When things are bad, I tend to pile every single bad thing that has ever happened to me right into a big heap in my mind. However, I have found this really doesn't help. It just created for me more pain. By summarizing your life like that, it appears to me you are doing the same thing I do (very common by the way, you are in very good company). Instead of doing that, let's just break things down into manageable, acheivable goals and go from there.

(3) Let's get this anxiety under control. Paxil, in certain, instances can make anxiety worse, I would either talk to your pdoc or post over on the drug board to get some pharmacological options that maybe you haven't explored.

(4) We've got to get you out of the house. It doesn't sound as though you have progressed to frank agoraphobia (SP?), but maybe we should approach it as though you have.
One thing that helps with phobias is to just face them in metered doses. This may sound absolutely insane, but I am afraid of the mail. I would let it pile up, bills go past due, all sorts of badness. I used to think that I had to get ALL of the mail at once, but i don't, I started just getting one or two pieces of mail a day. Then advanced from there. I mean, you don't have to go and spend the whole night out, but maybe a five minute trip the library, or a bar in the afternoon where it won't be as crowded. Say "i'm going to the movies, but just for the previews and then I'm leaving." Then, if you feel more comfortable, you can stay longer.

(5) Let's work on forgiving yourself the things you say are holding you back and let's find ways to be less harsh on yourself. Look, we all live our lives the best way we can. Most people don't have the baggage we have and can't even fathom what is in our minds. If they did, then the majority of them would be a lot less judgemental. You know what is in your mind, you know what you have suffered, now grant yourself permission to understand and accept yourself. You are the way you are, and for right now, that is more than enough. It is more than enough. Right now at this moment you are more than enough.

(6) Finally (whew! I'm sorry i'm so long winded, but your story really touched me). While you are on the way to recovery, I would try to take a little baby step everyday toward the stated things you wanted - career, love etc.... I wouldn't start by thinking of all the things you can't do, but start by thinking of things that you sort of like to do. Then visualize yourself successfully doing them. It doesn't matter whether or not you think you can do them, just visualize yourself actually doing them.

I'm here to help and I don't always lecture (sorry, you can just ignore all this if you like) as are the people at babble.

Keep us posted (pardon the pun)

Maddie


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:madeline thread:717185
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/717253.html