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worthless and stupid

Posted by inimitable on December 28, 2006, at 23:23:58

the title sums it up, that's how i feel most of the time, worthless and stupid. it doens't help that i live in a college town, and i myself am dropiing out of college for a couple semesters because i need a break. i have been going to college and university for almost seven years, and still no degree, because i do all myclasses half *ssed. sure, i might get interested and participate in class, but when it comes to doing homework or studying for a test...it doesn't happen. i am not at all a motivated individual, although i would love to become one. but there's nothing i can actually get excited about because i feel like i could never do anythign about my ambitions. like i'd love to become more involved in backp[acking and other outdoors stuff, but i don't have the gear or funds for a backpacking trip, and no one to go with, and not enough knowledge to go by myself. but that is one thing i could get interested in, because it is my kind of thing, and i don't need to be a brain to do it. because let's face it, i am NOT an intellectual, like so many people here (in this college town) are. i don't get riled up over politics, have no knowledge about history of any sort, can't name all the fifty states, and never bother to learn them again (i once knew, maybe in fifth grade). i have talked to my t about this before, but maybe i will copy what i am writing here and let him see the depth of it, although this isn't much more info than i've given him. it doesn't help when i have a sister who's the smartest and most ambitious person in the world it seems (whom i just visited out in washington). the thing is, also, i want, in a significant other, i want them to be motivated and know what they're doing with their life, but usually thos epeople wnat someone like them. and that's not me.

ug.

*inimitable


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:inimitable thread:717165
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/717165.html