Posted by Daisym on November 24, 2006, at 23:55:13
In reply to Re: Just So Sad » Daisym, posted by annierose on November 24, 2006, at 18:03:52
Thanks all. It always helps to have people remind me that I don't HAVE to do everything.
But I do have to decorate and put up a tree. It isn't fair to the kid, and besides, eventually I'll be glad I did. He'll help, he promised.
We went tonight to buy new stockings. All the Christmas stuff is packed away, over at his dad's. He was sad for a little while but he agreed that it is too painful to go over there and split stuff this year. I can hope that my husband will take the high road and offer stuff but I'm not holding my breath.
I just need to shake the suicidal feelings, stuff them back into their box again. If I let myself, I feel so calm with the plan all laid out. I can feel the relief and it is seductive. No more pressure, no more sadness, no more memories.
I am supposed to check in with my therapist tomorrow. I'm trying to be honest with him, but at the same time I know we've been here before and I've made it through, so it seems kind of stupid to dump it all on him. I hate feeling like this.
I'm sorry if I reminded anyone of hard holiday stuff.
poster:Daisym
thread:706781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/706952.html