Posted by annierose on November 24, 2006, at 18:03:52
In reply to Just So Sad, posted by Daisym on November 24, 2006, at 16:44:51
I don't think you "have" to be happy. Don't put that burden or expectation on yourself. Make you expectation simplier --- whatever that means or makes sense for you. It could be, "I want to get through this holiday gathering without getting upset."
Is it okay to let your family and/or friends know that the seperation "is" hard for you, especially this time of year? You don't have to be brave. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on Daisy to be perfect and pretend that life continues to be a breeze. No one life is perfect, even your wonderful T. We all have our personal struggles and disappointments. I think your friends will and do understand how hard the holidays are after a seperation.
Do you have to put up a Christmas tree? Your children are older now --- they would understand. If it wasn't for my little boy who still believes, I definitely wouldn't put up a tree this year. In fact, I am so looking forward to the year when I don't have that pressure to decorate. Putting up the stuff is just one part, it's the putting away that is so much work as well --- without any of the joy!!
I wish we lived nearer. I wish I could be there for you. I would love to play a game of cards or any board game in your closet. We could have a glass of wine or two and enjoy the quiet and safety the closet provides. But eventually we would have to come out and join the world. We are loved and needed and cherished. Try to remember that.
I was putting on make-up before Thanksgiving dinner and my son came into my room. "Mom why do you put on make-up?" "So I look prettier." "Oh Mom, that's silly, you are perfect just the way you are. I love you so much." And that Daisy, is worth the struggle. You sons feel the same way. They wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world. You are the most wonderful mom and they are loved and need your love to continue being the happy, productive people that they are.
Monday seems so far away. But you will make your way back to your t. We do. We just do. It may not happen in one session or two, but eventually the connection comes back. Your safety zone.
You are special to me.
Annie
poster:annierose
thread:706781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/706795.html