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Re: OK, thread on TOUCH. muffled

Posted by TherapyGirl on November 10, 2006, at 18:13:36

In reply to OK, thread on TOUCH., posted by muffled on November 10, 2006, at 15:46:30

What is it that feels bad, exactly? Are you afraid of the touch itself or do you think you are not worthy of being touched? I hope you don't mind my questions -- I really just want to understand.

I started longing for hugs from my T probably about year 1 or 2. I didn't mention it to her until probably year 5 or 6. I asked for my first hug after a session in year 7 or so. At first, I had to ask every time. Now we just hug at the end of every session. Mostly it's just a warm, friendly hug. Sometimes I lose it and she holds me while I cry. But that hasn't happened very often.

A few months or maybe a year after we started hugging, I asked for her to sit beside me and hold me. This felt slightly awkward at first, but just because no one (in my memory) has ever held me like that before. For the same reason, it comforts me in a way nothing else does. I use the holding sparingly, because it feels pushy or something to ask for it every week. But I love it when I position my head just right so I can feel her heart beating. And when I'm having a bad night, if I put a pillow up to my ear just right, I can simulate it. It's very soothing to me.




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