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Re: How are you doing? annierose

Posted by Daisym on October 26, 2006, at 0:50:10

In reply to Re: How are you doing?, posted by annierose on October 25, 2006, at 20:07:09

I've been away again -- and missing sessions. I came back tonight specifically for group because last week was such a disaster there. I told the group that I was completely disassociated last week and confused and lost and so 9! They were all very kind but almost dismissive in a kind of "oh yeah, this has happened to me before, why are you surprised?" kind of way. I found myself sinking into the sadness. What did I think "confessing" would do? I wanted them to "hold me" and recognize how scared I was.

My last session with my therapist was actually Ok but very intellectual. He said my sadness has been lingering with him and he really wants to understand why I keep feeling like he doesn't want to keep working with me. So we talked about self-psychology and concepts of merging, core self and Bowlby's work on dependency. We also did an exercise that essentially mapped the web-page that is Daisy -- he wanted to know what areas I was neglecting or choosing to not bring into therapy. So we mapped the stuff I think about and then looked at it with notes that said, "don't want to talk about it," or "talk about it too much." I think he was surprised at the things on the list I don't want to talk about, like body image or my separation. It was a longer list than I thought too.

Anyway -- long answer to a short inquiry. I'm fine, is the short answer. I'm hope you are doing well also.




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