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You're not an idiot at all mair

Posted by Dinah on October 25, 2006, at 9:17:47

In reply to I'm such an idiot, posted by mair on October 24, 2006, at 22:08:56

You're doing your best to cope with a difficult situation. And a situation, moreover, that no one has been trained from childhood to cope with. Because in all areas of the therapeutic relationship, the rules our parents tought us really don't quite fit.

You're doing your best and she's doing her best, but overall there are going to be times where everyone's best doesn't feel like enough. But feelings aren't facts. It is enough in these circumstances.

I can empathize, as we've gone through this to a lesser extent, and unless I'm very fortunate, we'll go through it to the same extent some day. It's scary, it's icky, and it makes clear the oddness of this relationship where the caring is so intense (at least on our side) but so artificially constrained.

It hurts on all sorts of levels.

But you can get through this. You will get through this. Through all the awkwardness and what are bound to be attacks of all sorts of emotions, even the most unwelcome and uncomfortable ones, you do care for her, and she does care for you. And the goal on both sides is to continue that caring. That commitment will see you through.




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