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Re: Meeting a nurturing/mothering need Ľ littleone

Posted by muffled on October 21, 2006, at 11:28:51

In reply to Re: Meeting a nurturing/mothering need, posted by littleone on October 18, 2006, at 20:33:08

> Ugh Ugh Ugh. Iíve just realised. Iím mothering my parts the same way my mother mothered me. Just trying to do things for them or provide their physical needs. Not talking or interacting with them at all.
>
> Ack. Obvious I know. But still. Iíve found it so sad that I was so alone growing up and even my own mum never wanted to interact with me. Pushed me away. And now realising I do the same thing to my young parts. Ugh ugh ugh. Nasty.
>
> Iíve known before that I do this. But itís like working in the therapy spiral. Come round to the same insight again, but at a different level in the spiral.
>
> Feel like inside is broken rubble after an earthquake. Donít want to be nasty. But I donít have words for them.
>
***:-(
I was sorta like that with my irl kids :-( I work hard to make and effort to intereact with them. And I am always rewarded. My kids are wonderful.
When they were babies I would take them to visit a friend who LOVES to talk and talk. I did this so they could hear lotsa talking cuz I talked so little, almost not at all :-(
I am doing better with my irl kids. I talk more.
And this has helped me SO MUCH with my inside kids. Cuz our inside kids ARE kids.
I am very fortunate and blessed in SO many ways.
Keep WORKING at it littleone. It took a decided very conscious effort for me to interact with my kids inside and irl. I STILL struggle. But its worth the effort.
Take care,
Muffled

 

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