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Re: more2 * abuse trig » ElaineM

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 15, 2006, at 13:40:27

In reply to more2 * abuse trig, posted by ElaineM on October 15, 2006, at 12:48:50

Hey Elaine,
sounds like you have a lot of intrusive thoughts. I get these a lot sometimes. They make me wish to do dire things to myself. I'm not surprised at all at the desparation in your voice.

Somehow you need to come back to be "Elaine". It's scary, because you're not really sure who you are, after taking so many mind altering medications, and being psychologically tormented for so long.

The fact that you've been able to live through so much is a great testament to your strength and bravery. The fact that you still want to help the man who is causing you so much grief (T) is a testament to your caring nature.

I hope you can spend some of your caring energy on caring for yourself. It sounds like you're doing pretty well, all things considered. Just remember when things start getting crazy in your head that you are NOT ALONE. There are others who have those loud screaming voices and unpleasant images and overactive imaginations (myself, perhaps?)

What kind of things will help you come back to the "here and now" ? How about babble-chat? How about calling someone, like a friend from uni? How about taking a nice warm bath? How about reading a simple book, or a trashy magazine? How about forcing yourself to leave your place, buy a newspaper and read in a cafe for an hour or so.

The latter has been my therapy. I'm kind of depressed this weekend. It's really hard for me to get my work done, and I have a really bad week coming up. So? I don't know what to tell you. Just hang in there, and know that we love you too :)

my pdoc has me on a fairly high dose of seroquel. I went from 50 mg to 300 mg in 10 days. This is a mood stabilizer with anti-depressant effects (haven't really noticed THOSE yet!) and also is one of the atypical antipsychotics. I have noticed a lot less of the ruminating thoughts and nasty flashbacks since starting this treatment (however, note that I also started taking klonopin- a benzodiazepine- at the same time.)

Have you talked to a pdoc about your suicidal thoughts? You need to be treated for this, as soon as possible, in my opinion. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

with love,




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