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Re: anyone » LadyBug

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 15, 2006, at 9:47:24

In reply to Re: anyone » ElaineM, posted by LadyBug on October 14, 2006, at 23:57:36

Hi Elaine,
You are in a lot of pain- that much is so clear. Is it okay if I try and untangle your knot a little bit? Maybe I'll help you make some sense, or maybe I'm just talking out of my *ss? Whatever.

1) you've got some health problem giving you severe chronic abdominal/pelvic pain.

a) Perhaps I understand you correctly that you've been diagnosed with a kidney infection. I've had that 3 times before, most recently this spring. You don't have to be a baby or a wimp or a bad person to get it. You should be on antibiotics if this is your diagnosis. You may have nausea, chills, fever, and you generally feel like sh*t all over, especially in your tummy/pelvic/lower back.

b) Another possibilitiy is interstitial cystitis, a condition which causes chronic bladder/abdominal pain, and is fairly misunderstood by modern medicine. Current thinking is that there may be several causes all lumped together because they share the chronic bladder pain symndrome. Antibiotics can help one of the causes of this. If this is indeed your diagnosis, you may want to explore antiinflammatory treatments like corticosteroids or other treatments- because it could be one of those autoimmune reactions. Alternative medicine probably has the best answers. I have used a supplement called d-maltose to cure and prevent my chronic UTI's when my bacteria no longer responded to the 4 most commonly prescribed antibiotics...

c)Finally, you may have endometriosis. Some women have rogue wandering bits of uterine tissue that just decide to take a little journey throughout the pelvic/abdominal region. The attach themselves somewhere and they decide to stay put, or perhaps multiply. The problem is that these bits of uterine tissue still respond to the monthly hormone cycle and they get bigger, have cramps and shed cells and blood periodically. The problem is that the shedded tissue has no outlet, so you get chronic pain, inflammation, and malaise. My guess is that since you are under so much stress, your cycle is kind of out of whack anyways- it would be really hard to tell if your abdominal/pelvic pain were well timed to certain points in your cycle (lucky Li gets cramps during ovulation AND during the main event. yay!).

d)I'm sure you know about irritable bowel. One of my friends has it and her bad phases arrive conveniently when she is under the most stress. She describes it as alternatingly mild cramps and bloating and severe (bend over and clutch the tummy in a cold sweat) spasms. It sounds like a "fluffy" little condition, but it causes her a lot of pain and distress.

2) Discomfort at being a patient. This is never fun. I get twitchy and startled when I'm in the office being examined. Especially when I'm in pain, when I'm uncertain, and when I've had bad experiences with a particular doctor/institution before. Do you have a music player? You can bring it and listen on the headphones to help you chill out, or wear your most comfy sweater or hoodie. You are already wearing your pink sneakers, I assume ;o) ? Deep breathing, and know that no matter how badly you feel, the appointment will be over soon. You should probably prepare a written list next time you go see a doctor. On one side are your symptoms- don't be shy-- tell them everything! you never know what's relevant. Keep working on this list, because sometimes it takes a couple of days to remember exactly what is going on with your body. On the other side of the paper is conditions which you may have. Be persistent- ask the doctor to tell you EXACTLY why a particular illness can or cannot be ruled out. Take notes during your visit, if necessary. Ask the doctor if there is a test that will help rule out a particular illness, and if so- whether you need the test. Be pushy- some doctors like that! It's your body, after all. It helps me to remember that doctors have to submit to embarassing medical examinations themselves as well. Just imagining a mean male doctor over the age of 45 who has to go see the proctologist or urologist-- Or the rude nurse who stares at you judgmentally over the tops of her glasses having to have a mammogram or a pelvic exam-- well, that goes a long way towards levelling out the playing field.

Having a list will help empower you. It will give you strength and a voice when your mind is fuzzy and uncertain during your appointment.

3) Pain from your T dumping his personal issues in your lap. I'm sorry this is causing you so much stress. It's not fair. It's a really sh*tty thing for a friend to do. Lemme try to create an analogy- let's say that I have recently broken up with my boyfriend. On the one hand, I'm trying to move on, and heal my old wounds. But it's impossible to do so when he keeps on calling ME asking ME to help him heal HIS wounds too! It's the worst conflict of interest. Your T has become the patient, and he has placed you in some marginal position of being either the object of his love, the source of his psychological pain, and the reason for his malpractice. Your T has made SO MANY mistakes, it's simply inexcusable.

Back to reality-- Elaine has a lot going on in her life right now. (((((((Elaine)))))) deserves gentle hugs, and a strong, warm source of supportive counselling. She is contributing her time and her heart and her effort to learning more about how to grow out of a very difficult childhood and gracefully occupy the role of woman. But her mentor, teacher, coach, and counsellor is ignoring her, and perhaps even harming her spirit.

Elaine, you deserve to feel better physically and emotionally. Please continue to write more. I want to hear more about you. I think you share many things in common with other people on this board. Please share with us, especially if it helps you contain your pain, and cope with it. You don't have to be all alone in these struggles. I know you are feeling kind of paranoid, so don't feel that you have to write specifics. Just tell us what you're feeling. That's enough.

We're there for you- all the way





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