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Re: boundaries? » alexandra_k

Posted by pseudoname on October 14, 2006, at 11:52:13

In reply to Re: boundaries?, posted by alexandra_k on October 14, 2006, at 10:39:09

> if people know you are lonely... then they make demands. because they know you will do fairly much whatever they want so you don't have to be alone

That's certainly plausible, but I guess there's room for interpretation there, too. Maybe sometimes people are trying to treat the other's loneliness by making (unwelcome, it sounds like) suggestions for spending time together. I can imagine someone easily thinking, "I'll get Lonely Louie to help me move. He'll be less likely to turn down an invitation if he thinks I really need his help, and getting out among others on a project will be good for him."

I've been the victim of other people's well-meaning interventions before, alas.

Is someone doing this to you now, Alex? (If I may ask.)

> if you upset someone then you get to comfort them :-(

Do you really deal with people who are THAT cynical and manipulative? People who would deliberately upset someone just to get to comfort them?! That's too bad. Outside of some pathological romantic relationships, I have trouble picturing how it would happen. Maybe in caregiver-charge (parent-child, e.g.) pathology…




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