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boundaries? » alexandra_k

Posted by pseudoname on October 14, 2006, at 10:08:39

In reply to i don't think, posted by alexandra_k on October 14, 2006, at 9:00:05

I don't quite see others taking advantage of me for disclosing those vulnerabilities. Well, I guess they may in buffaloing me into silence or dismissing my comments in conversation. But I do see people having adverse reactions to people who make explicit declarations of "dependency, fragility, [&] loneliness." I think people often have very unpleasant reactions.

For myself, when people disclose these things to me, if I previously have a relationship where I respect them AND if I don't think the disclosure is a prelude to making unwelcome demands on me, then it's cool, and I may respect them more and may feel closer to them for their disclosure.

But what would make the sense of "demands" "unwelcome" to me?? I can only think that I don't have enough of a relationship with them yet to know that I can trust THEM to respect my boundaries if I open myself enough to feel the pain that they're sharing without (in my mind) getting taken advantage of.

In any case, I hope I would not take advantage of others for their disclosures.

But Alex, I wonder: What sort of advantage do you see (other!) people sometimes taking when we disclose our vulnerabilities?




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