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Re: Wanting comfort » annierose

Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2006, at 9:04:29

In reply to Re: Wanting comfort, posted by annierose on October 14, 2006, at 8:15:16

> Tamar - I'm sorry that he seems elsewhere. I think you are asking a perfectly logical emotional question (got that?). Of course you want to be reassured that he wants to work with you. My T is not forgetfull but I still ask that question a million different ways, "Are you sorry that you are working with me?", "Do you regret deciding to work with me?" "Do you like working with me?" "Am I a challenging client?" etc. etc.
> I always ask and she always answers that she likes working with me.

Oh, I wish he would say those words to me.

> I think your T could answer that and not cross boundaries --- but everyone has different boundaries (my T would never touch me). I think it's time to ask yourself, do you feel like you are the one that always needs to forgive him in order to make this "relationship" work? Do you feel like you need to overlook certain aspects in order to get what you need?

I do feel as if I need to forgive him quite often these days. I don’t know if he needs to forgive me, of course, because he wouldn’t tell me. But I do feel as if he’s the one making all the mistakes and I’m constantly trying to repair things.

> If you want/need more from the relationship, you may be able to get more from another t. I know, I know how hard it is to tear ourselves from a therapist that we love.

Yeah. It’s hard, but if he really can’t help me, then there’s no point continuing. Love just isn’t enough.

> You don't have to do a thing. You can just think about it. And when the time is right, if there is ever a time, you will know what to do.
> ((((((((((((tamar)))))))))))))

Thanks Annierose. I will think about it. I’m sure that thinking about it will help me to realise that I’m not trapped in this relationship.




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