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Re: Looks like I'm here. ***suicide trigger*** » Lindenblüte

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2006, at 9:11:07

In reply to Looks like I'm here. ***suicide trigger*** » alexandra_k, posted by Lindenblüte on September 20, 2006, at 8:44:21

> you give me lots to think about.

Thank you. I try. But sometimes I miss the mark. If I miss the mark you can tell me to f*ck off. Well... You can probably think of a nicer way to say it... But you get the general drift :-)

> Yep. The mantra I learned: Every act of recall leads to encoding. It's impossible to remember something without fundamentally changing the memory itself.

Yes. Don't forget that. It isn't esoteric. It is important.

It might seem like the kind of psychology you do isn't related to therapy at all, but it is. Or at least... It jolly well should be. Did you do any abnormal psychology?

> I went to therapy because I was afraid of killing myself.

Why didn't you want to kill yourself?

> I just wanted to stop suffering.

Yeah, I understand that one :-(

> I went to therapy because I thought it would be nice to get a little advice and a referral for a pdoc. I thought the drugs would help the symptoms and then I could get on with my "life".

Okay. So it was about... Getting on with your life.

> Oh well. Maybe this is how it's meant to be.

What changed? Hearing about the path other people have chosen for themselves on Babble?

> wow. now I can love. because I don't HAVE to. because I just DO.

I chose to have as little to do with my parents as possible. They aren't good people for me to be around.

But that being said... I feel a little sorry for them at times. I figure they did the best they could. That wasn't good enough for me with respect to my needs being met but still, I figure they did the best they could. I struggle with the fact that my needs weren't really met as a child. I struggle with the fact that some of the things they did hurt me very much indeed.

But I'm not perfect either and I've hurt people too :-(

I don't know...

How does the stuff you wrote on the post it note look to you now?

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/687643.html